we were young and learning, steady hearts hate turning

[forthsofar]

Rosie takes a few days to get everything settled in her mind before she even considers bringing it up to Sabrina. All the things she wants, and the things she doesn't; what she has to have back out of the things she's given up, and everything that she's thrown aside for the better over the last year. She doesn't know if it's enough, will be enough, but she wants to try.

Nick, she thinks, might have wanted her to try. More than that, she loves Sabrina and Charlie too deeply to turn away from this. Whatever it becomes.

She and Sabrina agree to meet in the window of time between when Sabrina's finished at Leviathan and before Rosie has to go down to the restaurant in the evening. After a day or two of storms, the weather's cleared, the humidity all but gone with the rain; after getting them both drinks from a nearby cafe, it's easy for Rosie to find a mostly-dry spot of grass in the park where they can talk and enjoy the sun. That it also makes it easier for either of them to leave isn't worth thinking about, and she does her best not to.

She texts Sabrina her location, then settles down to wait, fingers fidgeting with the straw in her drink.

Comments

[signed_sabrina]

It's not as if life returns to normal.

It's that Sabrina has a lot of experience adjusting to a new normal, normals that shake the foundation of everything she holds dear.

No denying, in the end, that she hurts every day, that she deals with as best she can for the people she loves. In some ways, those things don't change. Her home is ridiculously supportive, and Charlie's devotion to her well-being is the main reason she's able to push herself to try. She can't let him down.

But there's still a frighteningly large area of uncertainty, one that she doesn't know how to fix. Fix isn't even the right word. She's loved Rosie more every single day since she's met her, since they huddled in a bed in a frozen hell, since they first kissed. The thought of losing that scares her, and yet, she's got no idea what to do.

So when she meets Rosie, she's made sure to put an effort into her appearance, checking her make-up and dress in the mirror before leaving work. Her heart is pounding when she joins Rosie at last, wanting very much to lean in and kiss her hello-- but she supposes she ought to wait.

"Hi," she says quietly, sitting beside her. "It's a nice day."