I can wear no adequate protection, everything comes crashing in

[forthsofar]

It's a wet day, full of cold and bluster and unpleasantness, and Rosie's more than glad the two of them have decided to stay in for the duration. They have no concrete plans aside from curling up beneath as many blankets as they can pile on Sabrina's bed, watching movies and eating junk food until they're absolutely sick of both. Later, Nick and Charlie may stop by to share in some of it, but for now it's a girl's afternoon and Rosie can't think of anything more perfect.

"I'm only saying," Rosie says as they both go into the kitchen, "that if we alternate watching one of your terrible monster movies with something a bit lighter, we'll be able to...appreciate the contrast more." She grins. "And even if that's not true, you have to agree it's a convincing argument."

Turning away, she starts opening the pantry cupboards, looking for more snacks to bring back to their little nest in Sabrina's room.

Comments

[forthsofar]

"Oh, Sabrina," Rosie breathes, a low, sharp pain of grief in her chest as she listens to the sad whisper of her friend's voice. They've had months of danger, of needing to sacrifice for one another in so many ways--big and small--and for a moment the enormity of it almost overwhelms her too. Even though they'd come through each instance somehow better and stronger than they'd been before, Rosie can't say that means they should have gone through any of it at all.

More than that, neither should Sabrina. Swallowing hard, Rosie squeezes her tight before pressing a firm, fierce kiss to the center of her forehead. "You protect all of us, in so many ways," she says, because denying that is something she knows she couldn't do. "Not just with magic. I'd mind those rumors about the four of us a whole lot more if I didn't have you and Charlie to walk to class with, for one. But that's not all you should be. That's not all you are, to any of us."

Rosie takes a deep, sighing breath, letting it steady her a little further. "You haven't lost any of us, even after everything that's happened, but...you know we couldn't bear it if we lost you, either."

[signed_sabrina]

These aren't new concepts, and Sabrina's heard the words before, in different forms-- somehow, it's here, in this moment, with Rosie acknowledging the constant battles, the sometimes horrible things she's done, that she hears it more fully. Rosie's given her something to think about, to learn, and she peers up from where she's been hiding her face off and on-- no longer embarrassed by the depth of her feelings.

She knows they couldn't bear to lose her. She knows it.

But hearing it said aloud so plainly, at this time, sends fresh tears down her cheeks, for reasons she can't quite understand. "I've had to go so far already," she whispers. "Engagements with Dark Lords, and embracing the Morningstar in me. Nearly killing Nick. All for good reasons, for the best reasons, but what-- Rosie, what if I have to go further? What if I take on more and more darkness?"

The real questions hang unasked.

Will you still love me?

How much darkness would be in me for you to stop?

[forthsofar]

Rosie had all but expected that new wave of tears, but the sight of them still twists her heart a bit. She kisses the shining track of each as they course down Sabrina's cheeks, the touch of her lips soft and soothing and the bitter taste of salt on her tongue by the time she pulls away. "No matter how far you go," she says, and the sudden steel in her voice surprises her, the quiet ferocity behind her words, "the light in the rest of us will pull you back."

Once it's out, Rosie realizes how true it all is. They're all beacons for each other, in a way; her and Charlie most of all, lacking the connection Nick and Sabrina have to the Dark Lord, but each of them have some shining pull, something to draw the others out of wherever they might sink. She'd felt it in the touch of Nick's hands as he murmured an incantation to ease her pain during those dark days in the Kagura throne room; in Charlie's quiet, listening expression on the nights they go out to dinner when the other two are on a date; in Sabrina charging up the steps of David's house while clouds swirled ominously in the sky.

They guide each other through, and keep each other safe, and Rosie knows something like that will never stop no matter what else comes their way.

[signed_sabrina]

Sabrina's long since strayed from the Path of Light; she doesn't suppose there's any such thing beyond what people call themselves, the paths they walk. It's all names.

But she believes in the light that Rosie has, that Charlie has, that she knows to be in Nick and herself co-existing with darkness. She believes in their bond, and there's a benediction in the way Rosie kisses away her tears. "I believe it," she whispers, leaning in to taste the salt on Rosie's lips. "When that day comes, you'll bring me home."

The words feel more like an oath than anything else, one exchanged before them and sealed with the salt of Sabrina's tears, the sweetness of Rosie's mouth. She's felt like this before, standing and holding Charlie's wounded hands in desecrated church.

[forthsofar]

They've exchanged a lot of kisses--and many of those in this very bed, wrapped up in blankets and each other's arms just like they are now--but this one now, the soft press of Sabrina's lips against hers, feels different from any of the others that had come before. There's an importance there, a pledge and promise, and Rosie means to live up to every bit of it.

"All of us will," she says. "Charlie, and me, and Nick. Whatever home we have here, or will, it's only complete when it's the four of us."

It feels like something new sliding into place, something she'd known at the back of her mind for months, but hadn't found the ability to articulate until now. Inevitably, the four of them will find a place, will come together in one spot and stay. They have that now, using Nick's apartment as a home base of a kind, but the other three of them have places of their own, too; roommates and guardians, family and friends, bedrooms full of their own clutter. If they stay, if Darrow lets them stay, to grow older together and start new lives, it only makes sense for it to be together.

[signed_sabrina]

Sabrina shivers. It's a bit of prophecy, she thinks, but the best sort.

"You're right," she says softly. "I can almost see it now. A house in the countryside, maybe, with lots of rooms, for whatever we want. We can give that to each other, that home. No matter what it looks like."

She knows she'll be able to leave here when it's time, because Dan is here with Marcus now-- even if it's not quite time yet. After a moment's thought, she ends up pressing another kiss to Rosie's lips, her eyes still dark but far more lucid.

"I have an idea. Just for right now. Because I'm a little cold, and sticky from crying."

[forthsofar]

"Not too far in the countryside," she says, chancing a smile now that they're on easier, more comfortable ground again. "I mean, wherever we move, whenever, somebody's going to have to teach me to drive anyway, because it's probably an absolute pain getting out there on the bus."

Sabrina kisses her then, relief and reassurance and love poured into the gentle press of her lips, and Rosie sighs out a quiet breath. "What are you thinking?" If Sabrina has an idea, Rosie knows too well it could be just about anything, but better to ask now instead of waiting to be surprised.

[signed_sabrina]

Sabrina hums thoughtfully. "I suppose I should learn how, too. It was never on the list of things I needed to learn, before. But it makes sense, we should all know how." Poor Charlie, she thinks, as she's doubtful Nick knows either. "I just like the thought of a big, maybe slightly spooky house."

Like the one she'd left behind.

But they're talking about her idea, and Sabrina presses another kiss, as sweetly as possible, to Rosie's lips. "Nothing big at all. I'm just thinking we could both easily fit into my bathtub, with or without magic. A hot bath."

[forthsofar]

"Of course it'll be a little spooky, you and Nick have your magical reputations to think of," she says, the words murmured a little against the other girl's lips as Sabrina kisses her once again. "At least decorating for Halloween will be easy."

On another day--and even on this one, a little--Rosie might have suspected an ulterior motive in Sabrina's suggestion. But a bath sounds soothing and warm, something that will restore what remains of the balance they'd lost when that bug appeared, and it's easy to nod her agreement. "I think you might be right. It's worth trying, at the very least."