forthsofar | there's no controlling the unrolling of your fate, my friend

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nick

there's no controlling the unrolling of your fate, my friend

Just like last year, the return of Movies in the Park was one of the main topics of chatter that day at school: groups of people making plans or shouting lines back and forth at one another in the hallway; gossip about who was going with whom (or who might say they were going and forgo the movie for other, more private entertainments); a few intensely enthusiastic people from the AV club discussing going in costume as one character or another. Strange though it was, as Darrow traditions went it seemed, at least, fairly innocuous. Especially after the summer that’s just passed, things like that seemed more and more of a rarity the longer she stayed in the city.

For a moment, Rosie considers attending herself, but when she hears that Charlie and Sabrina had already made plans to go--and that the movie scheduled for tonight was one of the blood-soaked horror films Sabrina loved so much--it’s all too easy for her to drop the idea entirely. Her offer to spend the evening at Nick’s is met with a lack of resistance, especially from Sabrina, that she might have thought suspicious under any other circumstance. Relieved as she is at having avoided a night of watching wholesale cinematic slaughter, though, she barely pauses to question it.

Hardly notices, too, the slight spark in Sabrina’s eye and the quiet look of planning both her best friends exchange as they turn away at the end of the lunch period.

When she gets to Chelsea that night, it’s just in time to say a quick hello in the lobby to Sabrina and Charlie on their way out. They’d done things like this on numerous occasions over the last two weeks, briefly checking in or updating one another on how Nick was feeling; this time, at least, it’s for a slightly lighter and easier reason. Rosie waves them happily out the front door of the building, then takes the familiar elevator ride up to the top floor and lets herself in to Nick’s apartment.

“Shift change,” she calls out to him, laughing a little. “Let me just put my bag down, and then I’ll be…” She trails off, noticing the neat pile of things on the coffee table: takeout menus, DVD cases with cover art that looks nearly as lurid and gory as that of the movie playing in the park, even a set of disposable cups and plates and a folded picnic blanket. And, prominently displayed, a note in Sabrina’s familiar handwriting exhorting them both to Have fun tonight!

“Oh, good grief.”

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She can see the way her words sting him, the momentary pause before he shakes his head. It's enough to make her wish she hadn't said anything at all--but she had to, even as she'd feared it would be hurtful. If anything like this had happened at home, that's how she suspects it would have been; something clandestine and secret, a scandal tucked into spare and furtive moments.

For all that Rosie loves the drama of being a little scandalous, she's been a secret before, and too recently.

"No, neither of you are," she says at last. "You both mean the world to her, and...that's what I'd want. To be as important to you as Sabrina is. Even if all the rest of this is new to me, even if we'll need to work out how it all fits between us--all of us, in a way, you and me and Sabrina and Charlie. That's the most important part of it to me."

Nick nods, because he can understand that, completely. How much she might want reassurance on that.

"Rosie, believe me," he says. "We wouldn't be doing this if I thought of you as anything less than a girl I could fall for, okay?" Could. Had. Whatever. The point still stood.

“Okay,” she says, and there’s so much behind just that single word. More than she might have ever thought possible. “And I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone other than you.”

She moves close to him, curling up along his side again and brushing a soft kiss against the line of his jaw.

He smiles at that, turning his head to catch her mouth with just a brush of a kiss.

"Is it going to be alright for you," he asks, leaning his forehead against hers. "Me being with Sabrina too?"

It’s her turn to be a little surprised, briefly and quietly stung, even though she knows the question is a valid and genuine one. “Of course it’s going to be alright, Nick,” she says, smiling at the light pressure of his forehead against hers. “I’d never...Sabrina means so much to you, and she’s one of my best friends. I love her.”

She leans in, kissing him once more, almost a seal to the words she’s just spoken. “And...it’s going to be alright with you?” she asks. “To be shared? I know you’ve said before you’re...used to it, to sharing, but being shared, I don’t know if that’s different.”

"I dated all three of the Weird Sisters at once," he says, not sure if he's every told Rosie about that. "If I could make that work, I can definitely make it work with you, Sabrina and Charlie."

"That’s true,” she says, recalling the brief mention he’d made of it, that night after their flight from Kagura. “If nothing else, the three of us are somewhat...nicer than the three of them. At least from what little I’ve heard.”

Still staying close, wanting to, now that things have changed between them, Rosie nibbles at her pizza, content. “Is there...do you need me to do anything in particular?” she asks. “To make this work the way it should, for you and Sabrina?”

"You definitely, one-hundred percent are." He tousles the fingers of his free hand into her dark curls. "Just talk to us, I guess. About what you want. About what you...need out of it. It'll only work if we're all happy."

"That, I can absolutely do,” she says, smiling as Nick starts toying with her hair, letting the familiarity of it calm her all the further. “I want us all to be happy, and...and get what we need. From each other, from however we end up together.”

It’s still new, still nothing like so many of the romances she’d daydreamed about—but that’s not such a bad thing. Not with the people involved; people she’s come to trust more deeply than she ever thought possible. However strange it is to her, she’s not alone.

“I like when you do that, you know,” she murmurs, tilting her head into his hand. “Play with my hair like that, it’s...it feels nice.”

"Good," he says, taking a sip of his beer. "Because I like doing it." He leans in, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I wish..." He smiles, shaking his head. "What I was about to say was really stupid."

Rosie makes a pleased little hum as he kisses her so gently, so sweetly--but it fizzes into a bright laugh after he says what he does. "Oh, now you have to tell me," she says, looking up at him, a spark of amusement already present in her eyes. "Even if it's stupid. Especially if it's stupid."

"I just thought that I wished I could take you to bed," he says. "Which...it's way too early for that, and anyway..." He presses his hand against his side. "Doesn't mean I don't want it."

As always, her blush comes before she can even start speaking at all; a vivid pink flush staining her cheeks, even spreading along the bridge of her nose. It's as much caused by what he says as it is by the sudden, strong pull of want that pools at the base of her stomach and sets her heart pounding.

"It is too early for that," she agrees, her breath catching a little even so. "And you shouldn't be...not with me, or anyone, not until you've recovered. But when you are, when it's--when it's right, I want that too." Even saying that is dizzying, a little forward in the way she knows she ought not to be--but doesn't care, right now, that she is.

A question occurs to her, a bit of her curiosity piqued. "Have you...would I be the first fully mortal girl you've taken to bed? I know Sabrina's half-mortal, but that's...I'd imagine that's not quite the same." Her blush deepens, and she ducks her head a little, embarrassed. "You don't have to answer, I just wondered."

"Busting stitches probably isn't the romance that I'd be going for on a first time," he says, laughing a little at himself, his fingers still threaded into Rosie's hair. His cheeks flush a little bit at the admission. "Good," he says. "That's...Yeah. That's really good, Rosie." He relaxes a little bit at her next question, nodding. He's not embarrassed by those kind of questions.

"You'd be the first fully mortal girl I've been with."

"And you'd be the first warlock I've been with," she says--and sure, with her lack of experience, perhaps that's not really saying very much. It still feels significant. "It'll be new for both of us, then, in a way. When we're ready."

Rosie smiles again, leaning into his side and taking a sip of her beer.

"Absolutely." He knows that sex hasn't necessarily been a positive experience for Rosie so far and he's willing to let her set the rhythm for what follows. "Whenever you're ready."

Though she tries to think of him as little as possible, now that she knows what David had really thought of her--had always thought, something that still hurt in a way that she wonders if she'll ever get over--for just a moment Rosie recalls a similar conversation to the one it seems she and Nick are having now. Though he'd said many of the same things, made her feel like it was her choice, there'd been an impatience to it, something frustrated and pushing.

There's nothing like that now. When Nick speaks, gentle and caring, all she can hear in his voice is honesty.

"Exactly," she says. "I'll...I'll let you know, when I am."

Nick nods at that, eating his pizza quietly for a moment, taking a swallow of his beer.

"This doesn't quite feel really yet," he admits, huffing a soft laugh.

"No, it doesn't," she agrees, echoing his laugh with one of her own. "It feels a bit like...I'm just here, spending time with you, like I always have been before. But then there's also something more to it now. Something good, of course, always good. But different."

There's something rambling in the explanation, the way it comes out less clearly than it had sounded in her head, and Rosie frowns, sighing gently as she lets the brief dip in her mood pass.

"But it is real," she continues, her tone a little brighter as she leans her head against him. "And thank goodness for that."

"Does this count as a date, do you think, or does that start the first time I take you out?" he says. She frowns, and he presses a kiss against her temple. It can be whatever we want it to be, I suppose."

Rosie lets out another, happier sigh as he kisses her temple. Though he'd done things like that before tonight--little, tactile touches; his arm around her while they sat; that brush of his lips in her hair at Kagura, the one she'd thought was accidental for so long--she doubts she'll ever get tired of it. Especially not now.

"I think the first time you take me out will be our first proper date, one where we know from the start that's what it is," she says. "This--" Laughing, she waves a hand at the things scattered on and around the coffee table, the menu screen for the movie still bright on Nick's television. "This is Sabrina having a clever plan and the two of us walking into it. In the most wonderful way."

"We very much walked into it, didn't we?" says Nick, laughing at that, shaking his head a little. "I should have known this kind of thing was coming when she talked to me about you, shouldn't I?"

"Oh, probably," she teases. Again, there's that reminder that some kind of permission has been granted for the two of them, to see where their feelings run now that she and Nick both know they're reciprocated. If it had come from anyone else, it might have rankled--but it's Sabrina, not anyone else, and all Rosie can do is love her for it.

"Just like I should have suspected something was up today at lunch, when Sabrina didn't even try arguing after I said I'd be happy to come over here rather than go with them to the park." She grins. "So many clues, and we missed all of them. Hopeless, both of us."

She leans forward, setting her empty plate and beer bottle on the table. "But whether we count this as a proper date or something else, whatever we want it to be, we're here, and..." Rosie pauses, oddly shy and uncertain now that the shape of things had altered between them. "What would you want to do, the rest of the night?"

"I just...didn't think if it as a possibility," he admits, combing his fingers through her hair again, twisting the curls around his fingers. "What I want to do and what I'm able to do are two different things," he says, glancing up at her, smiling. "But..." He bites his lip for a moment and then leans in, taking a kiss, his fingers in her hair holding her to it for a moment.

There's a playful, prim retort on the tip of her tongue, something like I only wondered if you wanted to start the movie again or not, Nicholas, but then he's biting his lip and leaning forward and it's everything she hoped for. She kisses him back, sweet and gentle and all too happy to be doing so.

The twist of his fingers--accidental or intentional, Rosie's not sure right now that it matters--pulls her hair a little as he keeps her where she is. She gasps against his mouth before she even knows she's doing it, pushing forward and deepening the kiss for a long, dizzying few minutes.

"We have to..." she sighs, breaking the kiss but staying close to him, letting him leave his hand tangled in her dark hair. "We should be careful, and it's--it's too early yet, and..." She meets his dark eyes with her own and smiles, delighted and helpless. "But goodness, that was wonderful."

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